


Give Me Too Much Love

by LiquidPaper



Category: The Fault in Our Stars - John Green
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-22
Updated: 2013-10-22
Packaged: 2017-12-30 03:43:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1013675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiquidPaper/pseuds/LiquidPaper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Many conversations and eulogy later, Hazel Grace Lancaster decides that although Augustus Waters is now in the past tense, she will still say, "I love you, present tense."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Augustus was sprawled out on a bench, resting his head on Hazel's lap, counting the remaining leaves on the autumn trees.  
"Have you noticed the new nurse, Hazel Grace? Her name's Melia."  
"She's awfully nice."  
"An oxymoron isn't it, practicing your grammar skills?"  
"For now."  
"I've got one for you now too. You are magnificently ordinary Hazel Grace."  
"Okay?"  
"Okay."

"You Hazel Grace, are the perfect metaphor to my life."  
"And you, mine."

"My teacher used to tell us that the Earth was left unfinished by God, left for us to shape."  
"What did they teach you in school Hazel Grace?"  
"Math, but he'd go off on tangents."  
"Was that a pun?"  
"He actually taught Chemistry. So what do you think?"  
"That you Hazel Grace, make very corny puns."

"I am not the majority, nor the minority."  
"Then what are you?"  
"Yours, Hazel Grace."

"How quiet it is today."  
"Not for me, Hazel Grace. There's so many thoughts in my head."  
"Like what?"  
"Like you. Like your hair, how it reflects the light, like your eyes, how they crinkle when you laugh. How you close your eyes when you're in thought. That's how I love you Hazel Grace."  
"I love you in the way you shape your metaphors, a question, then an wondrous answer."  
"Then what's the answer?"  
"You lured me with words, words that I took and created our story. Thank you Augustus Waters. Thank you for being you."  
"You'd miss me too much if I wasn't."  
"I most definitely would."

"Hazel Grace Waters has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?"  
"So does Augustus Lancaster."  
"Okay."  
"Okay."

"Where's your Somewhere Gus?"  
"Somewhere with an large infinity of time with you."  
"Wouldn't you get bored?"  
"Never."

"Many things in my life are regrets. But, you Augustus Waters, you are most definitely and indefinitely not."

"Hazel Grace, how would you describe yourself?"  
"You asked me already Gus."  
"It sounded so graceful and poetic, I want to hear it again."  
"Alright. I am a grenade, a ticking time bomb, a clock. I am an explosive trying to minimize the damage."  
"A clock now? Why?"  
"Because my time is numbered and one day it will stop." 

"Would you ever say it?"  
"What?"  
"I hate you."  
"Augustus Waters, why? I wouldn't, I couldn't, and I shan't, but -."  
"But is a contradiction to your case."  
"But I would say I love you, so what's your metaphor for that?"  
"That is a difficult question and all I can come up with is I love you too."

"My life up to this has been an ugly smear Gus. Not a graceful mark, or even an artful line. Just an ugly, red, angry smear."  
"Where am I then?"  
"You are the white at the end, the glossy finish."

"Depression is like a sky polluted with thoughts."  
"Then Augustus, indulge me with your thoughts."  
"You and my family."  
"Why is it sad?"  
"Because I'll miss you."  
"I'll miss you too."  
"I'll miss you so much Hazel Grace, I will."

"What's it like to die?"  
"I don't know Augustus."  
"That was rhetorical, but since you answered; what do you think?"  
"I really have no idea, but for me, I guess it'd be like drowning."  
"I think something else might drown before you."  
"Like what?"  
"Me."

"Isn't it a pity, Hazel Grace, to love something death can touch?"  
"No, it is a honor to love someone that life has blessed."

"And how Hazel Grace, am I blessed?"  
"Well you've met me."  
"That is a valid point and not only did I have the fortune of meeting you, but also the pleasure of falling in love with you."  
"Okay?"  
"Okay."

"Choices matter, Augustus. A lot of choices."  
"I know Hazel Grace. In what time we have left, it is our choices that make the most of us."  
"I don't want us to choose to leave each other."  
"We won't. It isn't our choice, it is just fate."  
"Did fate put you in that chair?"  
"No, cancer did, fate just led me to you."

"It is our choices, I think, that shape us Augustus. Like whether you hold the door open for someone or let it slam in their face. Do you like your choices Augustus?"  
"I do Hazel Grace, oh I do."


	2. Nicotine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The metaphorical story of Augustus Waters - By Hazel Grace Lancaster

This is not a eulogy, this is our story. It isn't as much for you, as it is to help me begin to think of him as past tense, not present tense.  


My love for Augustus is like a stained glass window, refracting off into all directions, coloring my life like a child's imitation of Picasso. It doesn't mean my love is unconditional, he had his faults as I have mine; it just means it is one large infinity of love.  
I love him like shy smiles to unfamiliar faces and hugs to open hearts; kisses to dry out water-logged lungs. I soared through the ceilings of my hospital room and it was just us, building our own world. He held me and I felt like I was worth something: worth something to last longer than our cancer-shortened lives.  


He looked at me like a person, not a pity case, treated me like a friend, and loved me like a metaphor. I saw him through eyes like a kaleidoscope and he changed constantly, every second a different configuration of shapes; and he was mesmerizing. He flew me to the moon and back, and although now he's Somewhere and won't come back to me, I love him.  
I haven't stopped just yet, I have a fickle teenage heart and feeble lungs, but I won't ever forget him.

I love you Augustus Waters, I do, I do.

.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and nice to meet you, lovely friend!  
> Thank you for reading. To further improve and possibly write new works like this one, please tell me your comments and ideas/prompts. Thank you very much and many hugs your way.
> 
> LiquidPaper


End file.
